Obey or Die!

Have you visited the interweb lately? Good. Then you've probably seen one of eight gazillion advertisements for some secret diet that read something to the effect of, "OBEY: One Rule to a Flat Stomach". Strangely enough, now that I want to write about the ad, I can't find one anywhere, but I've seen it on Facebook, Digg and other sites I frequent.

After wondering briefly if the ad was stalking me because its creator somehow knew that I am interested in losing weight, I started to consider what the "One Rule" could be. Now, for your reading enjoyment, I list them here. Some of these would be better if I had pictures to go with the ad for each. However, you'll just have to use your imagination.

OBEY: One Rule to a Flat Stomach

1. Vomit! Vomit a lot.
2. Stop eating. Air has calories.
3. Get lipo.
4. Eat only lettuce.
5. Start running. Oh, and don't stop for a very long time.
6. Hire a chef to make your meals so you don't have to think about it.
7. Wear a girdle.
8. Lay on your stomach (like a lolcat on a glass table).
9. Eat right and exercize! Oh wait, that doesn't work...
10. Drink drain-o. Dead people aren't fat.

That's all I have for an attempt at humor for now. Funny, when I thought about this internally it was hilarious... not so much when I put it on paper. :P