I'd like to start by saying I am amazed at all of the support so far. Thank you everyone. My biggest fear was that people would look at this as a cry for attention ("Look at me, I'm fat!") or some stupid gimic, but if you read on, you'll see that I used you guys as major motivation throughout the day.

I started the day off by actually waking up when I said I would. I only hit snooze once, and I didn't let myself make excuses or talk myself into just rushing off 10 minutes before I was due to be at work just because it was casual day. This was the first time that I thought to myself about how I would have to tell you all here how I failed to even start my first day right.

Getting up on time gave me enough time to eat a bowl of bran flakes and peaches for breakfast. It was pretty delicious, although next time I think I will leave the frozen peaches in the microwave for a bit longer.

The morning was horrible. My manager came and sat in my cube for the first hour of work, and she's extremely nosy, so when I wasn't drinking coffee, she wanted to know why. I told her I was on an all-or-nothing diet with no caffeine. She rolled her eyes and said, "Yeah, like that's going to work." She was the first person other than Tony who I told in person, and she was already predicting my doom. Fantastic.

My coworker offered me decaf lemon tea to sip in lieu of drinking coffee, which I took gratefully. It tasted like fresh lemon in hot water, which was perfect. There's nothing like switching one addiction for another. I've gone through caffeine withdrawal before, so the side effects are nothing new to me, but that didn't help the fact that I was exhausted and had a headache all day. In fact, I still have it, but it may also be from stress.

At noon, I attended a meeting in one of the manager's offices. There was a box of butter cookies perched on her desk, within my reach. Normally, I don't care much for butter cookies, but the box was calling to me. I tried to avoid looking at it, but it was right in the middle of the desk, begging me to rip it open and stuff my face. At the end of the meeting, I practically ran to the fridge and grabbed my lunch.

Lunch was a pre-made salad that I brought from home and threw a diced tomato and half a cucumber into. I topped it with light Caesar dressing (tons of sodium but I didn't care) and munched my way through the entire thing like a rabbit. The salad bowl was as big as my head, but I was starving and I ate the entire damn thing.

Near the end of the day, I wanted something to munch on so bad. I had eaten my three clementines and an apple which I had brought for snacks, but I was craving something I could mindlessly shove in my mouth and crunch on like none other. My coworker Chris was loudly snacking on tortilla chips, so I gingerly got up and went over to his cube. "Whatcha got there?" I asked. He tilted the jar of warm, gooey cheese dip that he was smothering over the chips in my direction. I stared at the cheese and thought about my blog and all the encouragement I've gotten already. After a moment of wistful silence, I walked out of his cube. "I can't," I said sadly.
"Neither can I," he replied, his mouth full of chips.

I joined the Y after work, which was great. I'm going to the one in Greenfield, which is actually the same one that I went to when I was a child for swimming lessons. I'm super excited to belong to a gym with a pool and I may even take some of those swimming fitness classes. There's nothing like working out in the water-- you don't notice that you're sweating! The chlorine may ruin my hair dye, but that's a small price to pay. I did a short 35 minute workout on the Precor. It looks like an eliptical, but it's not. It usually does a good job of toning your butt. I don't feel anything yet, but we'll see by tomorrow.

Dinner was a lean cuisine that I took with me before leaving for the gym to avoid that panic mode where eating becomes a life and death matter after a workout. Since it's so cold, I had left it in my car, where it stayed frozen. When I got to the house, I heated it up in the microwave, dancing in front of it, waiting for the obligatory 5 minute cook time to be up. It took every ounce of strength to slowly eat the tiny dinner and enjoy it rather than scarf it down and look for something else five minutes later.

I was still hungry when I got home a few minutes ago, so I ate a boca burger with a slice of cheese. No bun. Cheese is my weakness. I love cheese more than anything. I put it on everything. Cheese is something I refuse to part with, but I am eating it in moderation.

So, all in all, the day went fine. I still have this pounding headache and I'm still hungry, but I don't want to eat too late at night. I am exhausted. I'm sure my writing is suffering as a result of how tired I am.

Still, I have to come up with a game plan for tomorrow. I will be eating out at Applebees tomorrow, which is temptation city. Have you ever had one of their burgers? Oh. My. God. It's even better with bacon. Too bad I'm not doing the Atkins diet. Applebees does have a Weight Watchers menu though. I'll probably pick from that.

Dinner is going to be at Amanda's graduation party, where she has so nicely provided free pizza and beer. What a terrible thing for me to go to right now. I may have to eat before I go. I think I'll throw another Lean Cuisine in the car when I go to the house.

I've never put this much planning into dieting before, and I think that's another reason why it will actually stick. If I plan things out, I have no excuse to screw up. Except my own lack of willpower.

Wish me luck tomorrow. I'm going to need it.