Yoga is Fancy Torture

It's -5 degrees out today and I just had one of the most stressful days of my life. Needless to say, I didn't make it to the gym. You can yell at me if you want, but I think I made up for it. Am I rationalizing? I don't know. Is it ok to subsitute one workout for another? I would think so... this is very confusing.

I ate pretty well today, with the exception of snacking on cereal (about two cups) throughout the day. Also, in a fit of nerves, I snuck over to my cubemate's desk and stole three small pieces of chocolate. They were wrapped in foil, and I tore the foil off, ripping it into bits as tried to get to the sweet, sweet goodness inside. The unfortunate thing was that I barely enjoyed it, I just scarfed it down like an addict. After I was done, I didn't feel super bad about indulging, only that I had chosen the food out of stress and not because I really wanted it or enjoyed it.

Tonight, I got home late, walked in the door and started ripping my clothes off, all the better to get into my workout gear faster. I've adapted Kevin's way of thinking. "Don't think about it, just do it," is what I repeat in my head over and over when I don't want to do something like go to the gym or call someone at work. I got myself pumped for my workout and had just gotten the DVD running when my phone started rining. Just my luck.

I had just a few moments before I left, and I've been thinking a lot about starting Crossfit training, so I decided to try doing a few pushups. Tony had instructed me to do them with an intense push from the ground, then come down slowly-- all the better to make my muscles atrophy and scream from the punishment. I did two sets of ten on my knees, then stopped because I couldn't push off from the ground anymore. How pathetic, but at least I did it.

Tony wanted to go out to dinner with his mother, so I couldn't say no. I did give him some shit though, because I feared I would go home after dinner and just lounge around. However, I ate sensibly at dinner (a steak and veggies) and came home immediately where I repeated the clothes removal process from earlier.

My yoga workout has several levels. Last time, I started with the targeted legs toning, this time I did the cardio/strength workout along with the cool down. Typically I stare aghast as Denise Austin contorts her body into impossible poses, but this time, I just kept breathing and did the best I could. I'm exhausted now, and my whole body is shaking from the impact.

One thing I do like about working out is how the stress seems to melt away if you focus on what you're doing and nothing else. For just a few minutes every day, I have me time. I'm doing the workout for me and no one else.

Also, going to bed early and waking up early is starting to get earlier. Today is the first day that I've made it past 9pm without fighting to keep my eyes open. Even though I went to bed at about 1am yesterday thanks to the Metallica concert Tony and I went to, I wasn't feeling too terrible this morning and I was even able to get to work on time.

I have a lot to be stressed out about right now. Tony and I are maxed out on our budget, we've lost $3,000 to a business that no longer is in business, and we still have people to pay and things to get done. We have a plan, which makes the stress slightly less, but there are also other things I worry about. I won't go into detail, but now is not an easy time for me. However, I keep telling myself, in regard to the house, my workout, or anything else for that matter, if I can make it through this, I can make it through anything.