I have 3 pairs of pants that (barely) still fit me. Three. T-H-R-E-E. No lie. These are the pairs of pants that used to have safety pins in the sides to hold them up. The pins are gone and my stomach keeps growing. This isn't like all the other times when I panicked about gaining weight and worried over nothing. This is serious.
There's nothing like going to work every day and wearing the same 5 interchangeable outfits because you're too fat for all your cute clothes and you're too poor to go out and buy new ones.
Besides, who wants to buy fat pants anyway?
You may be thinking, "Ugh, she's complaining again," and rolling your eyes. I don't blame you. I complain quite a bit. But please, bear with me. I'm writing this for a reason, and I need your help.
I'll get to the point then. I don't want to loose your attention. I do realize there are plenty of other things you can look at on the internet.
From this day on, I will be writing every chance I get about my struggle to loose the 25 pounds I have gained until I have reached my weight loss goal.
I have tried many, many, many times to put myself on a diet, get into a fitness regimen, etc. It has never worked. As I was so eloquently told, I don't have the willpower or the drive. I am lazy and I make excuses. You can probably see how that would make it easy for me to gain weight.
The only time I have ever stuck with a program was when I paid $400 to Bally for a personal trainer. And then, I only went because if I missed a session, it cost me $60. I don't have that kind of disposable income anymore, otherwise I would just do that again.
That brings me to you: my friends, my boyfriend and everyone on the internet. I am GOING to do this thing, and I'll tell you why.
Because YOU are going to hold me accountable.
If I can't do it for myself, you have to do it for me. I expect you all to contribute by posting encouraging comments when I succeed, and (this is important) yell at me when I fail.
I can not fail.
Here's why. I want you to constantly remind me of these reasons.
- My family has a history of heart disease that runs rampant. I may not live to the ripe old age of 50 if I don't start to make changes now.
- I have THOUSANDS of dollars invested in my closet. Right now, I can't fit into ANY of my clothes.
- My. Face. Is. Jiggly.
- I haven't been checked out by a guy in forever.
- I'm tired all the time.
- I feel terrible.
- When I sit, I can feel the folds of my stomach (ICK!).
- I can't lift heavy things
- I have no energy
- I'm stressed out
- Have I mentioned how much I love my clothes? Seriously, you have no idea. I don't care if that makes me a shallow person.
- I have back fat.
- Bikini season scares the crap out of me
- It bothers me when my boyfriend no longer looks at me the way he looked at the blond chick at the restaurant tonight.
- Tony says I can't do it and I have to prove him wrong
For my own reference, and so you can make sure I'm keeping on task, here are the things I am going to do to turn my life around
- Tomorrow I am enrolling both myself and Tony at the YMCA.
- Once enrolled, I am going to GO to the Y.
- I am putting myself on a schedule for classes at the Y
- I am buying groceries instead of working out
- I will make my lunch every night before bed
- I will go to bed every night at the same time
- I will wake up every morning at the same time
- I will give up caffeine (a moment of silence, please)
- I will maintain this blog on a regular basis.
- I have set notes about the house reminding myself of what is available to eat (the microwave says, "Are you steaming veggies?")
- I will abstain from alcohol except at parties
- I will eat more veggies
- I will cut out unnecessary refined sugars (sad)
- I will add to this list as I see fit
Finally, to show I am absofuckingloutely serious about all of this, here are my vitals:
Weight: 159.5 (as of this very moment-- I am full of dinner though...)
Waist: 33.25"
Hips: 40"
Left thigh: 23.5"
Right thigh: 24"
Goals:
Weight: 130-135
I want to be in shape, feel good, and actually see muscles in my arms rather than flab.
I want to be able to look in the mirror again.
In a moment, I will post this, and I will never be able to retrieve it from the depths of the internet. At least I know that I am doing this for a good cause and I hope you all will support me.
5 comments:
Good luck, friend. I've had weight problems in the past, and I think I've learned that if I'm going to be successful at it I need to sort of forgive myself for what I've done so that I can work on something bigger than myself - which is, ironically, making myself smaller.
YOU CAN DO IT!!!!
I just hope that, in #4 of the steps you're going to do to lose weight, you mean you're going to buy groceries rather than "eating" out. Food rather than a workout might not be the most effective plan. ;)
I'll encourage you, dahlin'!
Remember, the less you weigh, the, erm, better chance you'll have of not dying on the plane ride over? Those things can only carry so much. You can do it by yourself, but I'm happy to help.
Welcome to my daily life! I've got a bit more to lose than you do, but here's some words of wisdom I've gotten in my struggles and they do work, go figure... 1. DO NOT deprive yourself of anything. I'm not saying go out to culvers and get 3 scoops of anything, but if you're craving pizza, ice cream... Whatever, have it (keep in mind not the whole pizza or a huge bowl of ice cream) if you ignore your small craving, you're more likely to fall off and eat the whole pizza, thus f'ing up the whole 'diet' thing. 2. FORGIVE yourself. We ALL have our moments. Those days where a drink is needed or you indulge in a frozen coffee drink. Forgive yourself for whatever it was and move on. If you dwell on the extra drink or whatever it was, you have NO chance at being successful at sticking to your goal. 3. Have fun. I know it's not glamorous and working out can suck, but try to make even the smallest carrot stick fun. This way, you might actually start to enjoy your daily workouts, or get excited about apples.
I know I know, this from the girl who is way past the 'festively' plump stage.well since Brady was born in Nov. I have lost 54 lbs. Now I know he was some of that, but he's not that big of a baby! Simple changes can make a huge difference. I know you can do this. Here's a little motivation for you...
When you reach your goal... Reward yourself! While your in progress, save a little money here and there, and when that amazing day comes, put on you fave skinny pants and buy that pair of shoes/ jewelery you've been lusting after. Why? Because whenever you see/ wear/ think about that item, it will remind you of what you've accomplished!
Remember, I'm right next to you (well up in west bend) fighting to lose weight! Good luck, you are fabulous no matter what!
Having a friend who used to weight 195, and in a few months dropped 50 lbs and became super fit, I say great job on the plan. As long as you stick to that plan, you'll be good to go. Diet and lifestyle are equally as important as the exercising itself.
The road is long and difficult when trying to make progress in the fitness and health department. But keep at it, and don't even think twice about working out. Just go and do it. Don't think about how eating in will be better than fast food or a restaurant. Just do it. Afterwards, you'll see how great it makes you feel when you get it done.
You don't even want to know what I do to keep in shape, but after I do what I planned to do, it's a giant pick-me-up when it's all said and done.
If you need any workout ideas or tips, I'll be more than happy to contribute what I can.
Here's what I swear by every day (I use it as a baseline, and change it or build off of it as I feel).
www.crossfit.com
For scaled-down versions of what they do...
http://www.crossfitbrandx.com/index.php/forums/viewforum/16/
It works. But what you decide to do in the gym is half the battle, and is all on you. Good luck!
lynn, if you get fat we won't be friends anymore. think about it.
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